Thursday, 13 March 2008

18th February

So I went for the colonic! Two words… never again!! Although many people swear by colonic hydrotherapy, most doctors disagree with it saying it can damage you internally. I decided to try it anyway in the hope that it will cure my bloating. Colonics supposedly help with many problems from IBS to asthma! Who would have thought that pumping water up your bum would help you breathe!? Very strange.

Anyway, the results: if anything I felt more bloated after the treatment. It didn’t have the desired effect and I definitely won’t be going again! So here are the gory details… You lie on your side while the therapist puts a tube up your bum. You then have to very uncomfortably turn onto your back still with the tube up. After a strange stomach massage the water is pumped in. It’s the most bizarre feeling ever! As the water comes in, gas passes out causing a very strange bubbly feeling in your belly. The water’s changed from hot to cold (can’t remember why, I was so scared I wasn’t really listening to the woman wittering on). The change in temperature only added to the weird thing that I was having done to my body. The water passing through your body causes the muscles to contract, which hurts and kept making me feel like I was going to poo my pants causing me to feel very uncomfortable and embarrassed! But then I’d remember that I was meant to be, erm…. Pooing myself! It was awful! It took a while for me to get used to the whole thing! I could say more but I won’t! It wasn’t a nice experience and I’d never do it again.

3 comments:

Jimmy said...

So you wont be taking it up the poop box again then Sam. Sorry but i couldn't help but smile all the way through that, i have some priceless visions now! :)

mandamac said...

god sounds soo uncomfortable but on your self for trying it i get regular bloating and would love to have a go but too scared:(!!

Austin said...

I hear they shoot coffee up there, for some reason. I guess your butthole needs a little caffeine to get going.